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Wednesday, February 12, 2020

How to of the Day

How to of the Day

How to Become a Friend

Posted: 12 Feb 2020 04:00 PM PST

It's not always easy making friends, and it can be even harder to keep friends around if you don't know how to be one. Train yourself to meet new people, be considerate, and overcome your insecurities. These things will make maintaining friendships much easier; before you know it, you will have become a good friend.


[Edit]Forming Friendships

  1. Find peer groups. In order to become a friend, you have to find friends in the first place. Get out of your comfort zone by joining a group that shares your values or position in life, sometimes known as a peer group. Studies show that having friends can actually add years to your life, so meeting new people is not just a good idea—it's essential for your health.[1]
    Become a Friend Step 1 Version 2.jpg
    • If you're a parent, find a mom group in your area. Most communities have more than one type of parent gathering, whether it's a mother's day out or a park stroller group. Most of these groups have Facebook pages you can join.
    • If you like political activism, most cities have lobbyist groups or volunteer centers you can join. When a group of people works toward a common goal, a bond forms among them.
  2. Join a class at a gym or community center. Repeating your attendance at each meeting builds a rapport with other classmates. Having a shared goal also builds strong ties among people in a group.
    Become a Friend Step 2 Version 2.jpg
    • Find classes that encourage interaction among members. Activities like yoga and Pilates are good for your body but don't allow much socialization. Look instead for opportunities like self defense classes, Zumba, even sewing and cooking classes.
  3. Initiate conversations. Even if you're in the habit of visiting new places, simply introducing yourself to people isn't enough. You have to ask questions. Show interest in other people, and they will be interested in you in return.
    Become a Friend Step 3 Version 2.jpg
    • Pay attention to nonverbal cues like smiling and eye contact. When someone invites you with these gestures, you can give a compliment, comment on what's happening, or share some information.[2]
  4. Be easy to talk to. Keep a list of easy conversational topics running in your mind. Things like happy childhood memories, the weather, and food are all topics most people can engage in.
    Become a Friend Step 4 Version 2.jpg
    • When starting a conversation with someone you haven't spoken to in a while, take some time to remember that person before you greet them. If you have a humorous memory or a friend in common, let that be your conversation opener.
  5. Invite acquaintances out for coffee. You can make new friends both in person and online, it's true. But it turns out that maintaining face-to-face contact with people is important, and you can't get that by relegating your friendships to your smartphone.[3] When you recognize that conversations with someone are leading toward a friendship, inviting them to an activity outside of where you met provides opportunity for the friendship to truly grow.
    Become a Friend Step 5 Version 2.jpg
  6. Be tactful. Tactfulness is defined as being "careful not to offend or upset other people."[4] While you don't need to be a doormat, you do need to be considerate of the person you're interacting with.
    Become a Friend Step 6 Version 2.jpg
    • Be considerate of their race, gender, sexual orientation, or what their opinions might be. Don't make jokes or rude comments at the expense of your friend--or anyone like them.

[Edit]Keeping Friends

  1. Listen well. Listening is key to being a friend. No one enjoys meeting with someone who doesn't stop talking. In fact, one rule is to listen 75% of the time and speak only the remaining 25%![5]
    Become a Friend Step 7 Version 2.jpg
    • There are several things that prevent you from being a good listener: judging others; thinking you know what your friend is going to say; and your own emotions.[6]
    • Instead, allow others to be themselves without judgment, believe your friend has something new to say, and set aside your feelings about a topic. This way, you'll be well on your way toward listening well.
    • If you're an outspoken person, take time to study your friend to see how much of your opinions they can handle. Then ask them to express their side and listen closely.
  2. Work on negative traits. Everyone has flaws, but some things can stand in the way of a meaningful friendship. Try to identify negative traits that you may posses and make a conscious effort to stop them.
    Become a Friend Step 8 Version 2.jpg
    • Resist bragging about yourself. This behavior is arrogant, and most people find it irritating—you'll lose friends before you get the chance to be one. It is important to have balance in a friendship so that you are celebrating each other's achievements, not competing with each other.
    • Refuse to gossip. When someone confides in you, don't share that information with others, even if they don't specifically ask you to keep a secret. This builds trust, which is essential for maintaining a friendship.[7]
    • Keep your commitments. Canceling plans at the last minute is inconsiderate and it can disrupt your friend's life.[8] Sometimes this might be unavoidable, such as in an emergency situation, but you should give as much notice as possible if you have to cancel.
  3. Share from your life. Although you shouldn't be overbearing with your own thoughts and feelings, you shouldn't be too guarded, either. If you allow someone else to talk your ear off without ever offering your opinions, you're just as unlikely to stay friends as the one talking too much.
    Become a Friend Step 9 Version 2.jpg
    • You don't have to tell your friend your deepest, darkest secrets, especially if it's the beginning of a friendship and you're establishing trust. But personal anecdotes are what connect people to each other. Sharing you life experience is key for a strong friendship.
  4. Keep a sincere demeanor. Insincere people tend to smile too much, talk too loudly, and usually laugh to cover their insecurities. To be a good friend, you must do away with insincerity. You can't keep up a friendship this way because eventually, your friend will see your true self, and it's likely they will feel betrayed.
    Become a Friend Step 10 Version 2.jpg
  5. Be kind. This is a basic rule of society, but if you want to have a friend, you must be a friend. Practice doing small favors, giving gifts to show your thoughtfulness, and staying available for your friend's needs even when it's inconvenient.
    Become a Friend Step 11 Version 2.jpg

[Edit]Growing Your Social Skills

  1. Boost your self-esteem. If you believe in yourself, so will others. And it goes deeper than that—if you like yourself, you will treat yourself well, which translates to treating others well.
    Become a Friend Step 12 Version 2.jpg
    • Practice becoming aware of your thoughts and beliefs when you encounter situations that make you feel bad. When you identify negative self-talk, challenge it.
    • Do things like using hopeful statements, forgiving yourself, focusing on the positive, and encouraging yourself.[9]
  2. Be discerning. You are much less likely to feel insecure with someone who understands you. You can generally tell when you have a genuine connection with someone. If someone finds you odd, they may criticize you and increase your feelings of insecurity.
    Become a Friend Step 13 Version 2.jpg
    • Ask yourself questions. Does this person make fun of my quirks? Do their facial expressions seem genuine or fake? Is this someone who will laugh with me or laugh at me?
  3. Know yourself. If you don't know yourself, no one else will be able to know you either. Start a habit of quiet time each day to explore your thoughts. This practice will also boost your self-esteem. Try doing some writing exercises and think about what your responses reveal about your values. Some writing exercises that may help you include:[10]
    Become a Friend Step 14 Version 2.jpg
    • Reflecting on an amazing experience. Think of a time when you felt really happy. What was the experience? Why did you feel so good? What does the experience reveal about you?
    • Identifying what upsets you. What things make you really mad? What things annoy you? What are your pet peeves? List everything that upsets you, from major things to minor things and try to identify why these things are upsetting to you.
    • Think about what you are good at. What do people tend to compliment you on? What do you think you do best?
    • Figure out what activities or things are important to you. What do you like to do for fun? What things are precious to you?
  4. Respond to communications. Even though sometimes it's uncomfortable to talk to new people, part of overcoming your insecurities is facing your fears. Answer phone calls, text messages, and emails within a day or so no matter how much a person intimidates you; pretty soon, new people won't make you nervous anymore.
    Become a Friend Step 15.jpg
  5. Let go of toxic friendships. If you're used to friends who stress you out, don't return favors, aren't there when you need them, or are overly demanding, then you may have some toxic friends in your life. In order to be a true friend, you've got to show you know what a friend really is, so you may want to consider ending friendships that are one-sided.[11]
    Become a Friend Step 16.jpg
    • Keep in mind that just because a friend has some flaws, that does not mean he or she is toxic. Try to weigh you friend's good traits against the bad to determine if the friendship is worth saving.
    • For example, if you have a friend who annoys you because she is always complaining about her boyfriend, but she listens to you when you need to talk about something, then you may decide that her willingness to listen outweighs her frequent complaints.


  • When ending a conversation with a friend, shake hands, hug, or at least say goodbye. This politeness will maintain a positive rapport.
  • Sincere, well-placed compliments are important in good conversation.
  • Even if you have a lot of friends on the internet, making time for people in real life is the best way to have meaningful friendships. You can speak so much more easily and read body language in person, leading to deeper connections between people.
  • Keep the secrets of your friends unless it is damaging or physically harmful to do so.


  • Just because you follow these steps perfectly doesn't mean someone will stay your friend. People have many reasons for ending friendships or avoiding them in the first place.


How to Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin

Posted: 12 Feb 2020 08:00 AM PST

If you have dry, flaky skin, or your face is looking lackluster and dull, you might want to find a product to bring life and hydration back into your skin. Hydrators and moisturizers do different things, and you might need to assess your own needs to find out which one is best for you. Deciding between a moisturizer or a hydrator might sound tough, but if you decide whether your skin is dry or dehydrated and read the list of ingredients in your products, you can buy the best moisturizer or hydrator for your skin type with confidence.


[Edit]Identifying Dry Skin

  1. Examine your skin for visible flaky pieces. If you often have flaky pieces of skin that you can brush off of your face, it means that your skin is dry rather than dehydrated. Look at your skin closely in a mirror and see if you can find any small, flaky pieces of skin. Dry skin means that your skin cells aren't able to lock in moisture as well as they should be able to.[1]
    Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin Step 1.jpg
    • You might also have dry skin if you notice yourself having to exfoliate often to remove dead, flaky skin.
  2. Brush your fingers against your skin to test for a dry feeling. If your skin is dry, it might feel rough and tight. Lightly move your hands over your skin and feel for tightness and roughness. This usually means that your skin is dry rather than dehydrated.[2]
    Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin Step 2.jpg
  3. Suspect dry skin if you use prescription acne medications. Most prescription acne medications contain ingredients that dry your skin out. This is good for your acne treatment, but they can be very drying for the rest of your skin. If you are on medication for your acne, you can assume that your skin is dry rather than dehydrated.[3]
    Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin Step 3.jpg
    • Your doctor may have talked to you about dry skin as a side effect for your acne medication.
  4. Expect dry skin in the winter time. Winter air is very harsh on your skin, since there is less moisture in the air. If you live in a climate where winter is especially cold, you can expect that your skin will be more dry during that time. You may have to adjust your skin routine as the weather changes.[4]
    Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin Step 4.jpg

[Edit]Recognizing Dehydrated Skin

  1. Examine your skin for a dull and lackluster look. If your skin is not glowing like it used to, or it looks flat and dull, your skin is probably dehydrated. Dehydration causes your skin cells to lose moisture and become flat, making your skin less bouncy and radiant.[5]
    Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin Step 5.jpg
    • As you age, your skin cells have a harder time staying hydrated. It's normal for your skin to look different as you get older.
  2. Look for new or more prominent wrinkles. If you are starting to notice more wrinkles on your skin than you used to, or if they are becoming more prominent and defined, your skin may be dehydrated. The cells in your skin are losing water, which makes your skin lose its elasticity and creates wrinkles.[6]
    Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin Step 6.jpg
  3. Suspect dehydration if you sweat a lot. If you exercise frequently or sweat often, your skin is losing hydration at a rapid pace. This means that it is not a moisture retention problem, but a dehydration problem. Determine if you sweat more than the average person.[7]
    Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin Step 7.jpg
  4. Consider how much water you drink in a day. Hydrating your skin also depends on how much water you drink. Think about how much you are consuming on a day to day basis. If you are drinking other fluids like soda, coffee, and alcohol more than you drink water, your skin is probably dehydrated.[8]
    Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin Step 8.jpg
    • There is no "right" amount of water to drink in one day. It depends on your body and how active you are.
  5. Expect dehydration in the summer months. Summer usually dehydrates your skin because you sweat more in the heat. If you live in a climate that gets hot during the summer and you notice that you are losing more moisture throughout the day, your skin is probably dehydrated.[9]
    Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin Step 9.jpg
    • Air conditioners also suck moisture out of the air, which could make your skin dehydration worse.

[Edit]Buying a Moisturizer for Dry Skin

  1. Use a lightweight lotion or gel moisturizer during summer months for dry skin. If you have dry skin during the summer or hot months, try a moisturizer that is lightweight and won't trap in your sweat as you wear it. Usually, these are lotions or gels that you can rub into your skin and won't sit on top of it. They will help your skin cells lock in moisture throughout the day.[10]
    Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin Step 10.jpg
    • Make sure the moisturizer you buy doesn't contain any alcohol in the ingredients. Alcohol will dry out your skin more.
    • Lightweight moisturizers are also good for acne-prone skin.
  2. Apply a heavy moisturizer during the winter for dry skin. Dry skin can get worse during the colder months, because the air is more dry. If your skin gets noticeably more dry during the winter, try a heavy moisturizer, like coconut oil or petroleum jelly. Try to find products that don't have a lot of additives in them. Heavy moisturizers help your skin retain moisture during dry periods.[11]
    Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin Step 11.jpg
    • You can buy heavy moisturizers at most grocery and home goods stores.
  3. Use a water-based moisturizer if you have oily skin. Oily skin can still be dry in some areas. If your skin produces excess oil, you should buy a moisturizer that is water based so that it doesn't clog your pores. Check the ingredients carefully before you purchase a moisturizer.
    Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin Step 12.jpg
  4. Buy a fragrance and dye-free skin if you have eczema or sensitive skin. Some moisturizers add ingredients like fragrances, dyes, or additives that can irritate your skin. Check the ingredients on your moisturizer before you purchase it and make sure that it has as little ingredients as possible.[12]
    Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin Step 13.jpg
    • If you know you are allergic to a certain ingredient, check to make sure the moisturizer you purchase doesn't have that either.

[Edit]Purchasing a Hydrator for Dehydrated Skin

  1. Use a topical hydrator that has aloe, honey, or marine extracts. Hydrators help to draw water into your skin cells by using natural humectants. Things like aloe, honey, and marine extracts all contain humectants that are good for skin cells and will teach your skin how to retain hydration over time.[13]
    Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin Step 14.jpg
  2. Buy water-based hydrators if you have oily skin. If you have more oily skin but you've noticed that your skin is also dehydrated, choose water-based moisturizers and hydrators so you don't clog your pores with excess products. Making sure your skin is hydrated can actually reduce the amount of oil that your skin produces, since it will make your skin more healthy.[14]
    Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin Step 15.jpg
    • Most hydrators are water-based by default, but it is always good to double check.
  3. Don't buy hydrators with glycerin, urea, or propylene. These ingredients are synthetic, and can actually irritate your skin more. If you have sensitive skin or skin conditions that make you more prone to skin dehydration, be extra cautious when buying a hydrator and look out for these ingredients before making a purchase.[15]
    Choose Between a Moisturizer or Hydrator for Your Skin Step 16.jpg
    • If you are buying skin products online, the website should have a list of ingredients about each product. Otherwise, check on the back of the product in the store.


How to Run the NYC Marathon

Posted: 12 Feb 2020 12:00 AM PST

The NYC Marathon is one of the largest and most thrilling races in the world, but it is also one of the most difficult to qualify for. Each year, runners from around the world vie for 50,000 coveted spots in the marathon. Once you are invited to the race, it is important to have a consistent training regimen that includes running, strength training, and nutritional balance. Race day is all about pace and endurance. Running in the NYC Marathon takes a lot of work and some good fortune, but the reward is great.


[Edit]Qualifying for the Race

  1. Enter the drawing for a chance to secure a spot at the race. Between mid-January and mid-February, apply for the drawing through the New York Road Runner website. The drawing is at the end of February. Though this is the easiest way to secure a spot, it is not guaranteed.
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 1.jpg
    • In 2017, over 98,000 hopeful runners applied for the drawing and only 16,000 were accepted (a 16.5% rate).[1]
  2. Raise money for Team for Kids to be guaranteed a spot in the race. Runners raise money for this New York Road Runner youth program each year. If you are able to pledge and raise at least $2,620 by October, you are guaranteed a spot in the marathon.
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 2.jpg
    • Every year, 4,000 use this strategy to get into the race.[2]
  3. Have a qualifying time at other races to ensure a spot in the marathon. If your official time at other New York Road Runner races is fast enough, you can secure a space at the NYC Marathon. These qualifying times are based on age and gender.
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 3.jpg
    • Some of these races include the Fred Lebow Manhattan Half Marathon, the NYC Half Marathon, the Women's Half Marathon, the Brooklyn Half Marathon, and the Staten Island Half Marathon.[3]
  4. Claim your deferred marathon entry from last year. If you were admitted into the race last year but officially cancelled your entry, you are guaranteed a spot this year.
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 4.jpg
    • You must pay the entry fee again.
  5. Become a New York Road Runner member to get into the marathon. Become a New York Road Runner member and complete at least 9 of their races. You must also volunteer at 1 or more race to guarantee a spot in the NYC Marathon.[4]
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 5.jpg
    • You must complete the races and volunteer in the calendar year prior to the marathon in which you want to compete. For example, you must complete 9 races in 2017 to be eligible for automatic entry into the 2018 Marathon.
    • You must become a New York Road Runner member by December 31 to qualify for this option.

[Edit]Training for the Marathon

  1. Eat foods that are rich in protein and carbohydrates. These types of food provide fuel for both your exercise and recovery.[5] Try different types and quantities of food during your training routine to find out what works best for your body.
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 6.jpg
    • Good energy foods include bagels with peanut butter, pasta, and oatmeal.
    • Know how long it takes for your body to digest food before you are able to run comfortably. It can take up to 3 hours for your food to digest completely.[6]
  2. Keep your body hydrated. It is important to keep your body hydrated throughout your training weeks as well as the day of the race. Drink to of water each day during your training. Drink no more than of water on the morning of the race.[7]
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 7.jpg
    • Drinking too much water on the morning of the race can make you cramp up.
    • Coconut water is a great way to replenish electrolytes without consuming the added dyes and sugars of a sports drink.[8]
  3. Incorporate 3 training runs each week on non-consecutive days. Complete 1 long run—at least —each week. Do one moderate run—at least —at a pace that is slightly slower than your 5k pace. Finish one moderate run—at least —at your 5k pace or slightly faster.[9]
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 8.jpg
    • Remember to do recovery stretches after each running session.
  4. Complete cross training sessions on the days between your runs. Do 1 HIIT or metabolic conditioning class. Finish 1 non-impact aerobic class each week. Round out your cross training with a yoga class.
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 9.jpg
    • HIIT exercise routines include exercises such as squats, push-ups, jumping jacks, and burpees.[10]
    • You can interchange any of these cross training sessions for an easy 30-45 minute run.[11]
  5. Complete your last two long runs before your final training week. Make these last two runs as similar to marathon day as possible. Simulating the big race will get your body used to marathon conditions and pace.
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 10.jpg
    • Wear the same shoes, socks, and clothing as you plan to wear on race day.
    • Eat the same pre run meal before your last two long runs.[12]
  6. Allow for adequate recovery time between runs and strength training. Remember to stretch after each exercise period. Incorporate at least one rest day each week into your training routine.[13]
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 11.jpg

[Edit]Strategizing the Week before the Marathon

  1. Avoid long distance running for the 6 days before the race. Keep all of your runs in the week prior to the big race around to long.[14] Do not run the day before the marathon.
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 12.jpg
  2. Eat more carbohydrates for the 6 days prior to the race. Try to consume at least of carbohydrates per of your body weight. Increase to per of your total body weight during the last 3 days before the race.[15]
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 13.jpg
    • Some good foods for carbohydrate loading are sweet potatoes, brown rice, and quinoa.[16]
    • Do not overload on carbohydrates. This will make you bloated and lethargic on race day.
  3. Pack your race gear in your carry on luggage. If you are flying to NYC for the marathon, make sure to keep everything you need for race day in your carry on bag, including clothes, shoes, band aids, nutritional products, and energy gels.[17]
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 14.jpg
    • You do not want to be scrambling for new gear if your checked bag is lost.
  4. Consume simple meals in the days leading up to the race. Cut foods like red meat, nuts, dairy, fried food, and roughage out of your diet the day before the marathon. Also try to avoid high fiber foods.[18]
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 15.jpg
    • Do not try any new foods in the week leading up to the marathon.
  5. Do not do a lot of walking or standing on the day before the race. Too much activity the day before the marathon will wear out your legs. Get to the expo early to avoid waiting in long lines to get your racing bib and packet.[19]
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 16.jpg

[Edit]Running on Marathon Day

  1. Look up the weather forecast and prepare accordingly. Wearing the appropriate clothing is essential when running in any type of weather. Make sure your layers are comfortable and able to be discarded along your route. You do not want to have to carry a sweatshirt for the entire race.
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 17.jpg
    • If rain is in the forecast, bring a trash bag with a hole cut out for your head and wear it while waiting in the corral. Take it off before starting the race.[20]
    • If it is a cold rain, rub petroleum jelly on your arms and legs to keep warm. Do not rub jelly on your head or neck as it does not allow for adequate sweating and you may overheat.[21]
    • If the weather is supposed to be hot, try to drink cold fluids (such as a slushie) before the race.[22]
    • The New York Road Runner club collects discarded clothing and donates them to charity.[23]
  2. Bring only what you need to the race. It is important to not be weighed down with unnecessary baggage. Make sure your phone is secure and not in your way.
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 18.jpg
    • Some essentials include your photo ID, some cash, and a small snack.[24]
  3. Keep your pace steady for the first couple of miles. The first section is uphill, and many people try to overexert themselves. Don't waste energy trying to swerve around other runners during the first .[25]
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 19.jpg
  4. Stay hydrated along the marathon route. Slow down, but don't stop, at aid stations. Stopping will shorten your muscles and cause cramping.[26]
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 20.jpg
    • Squeeze the cups to avoid spilling.
    • Keep your core cool by dumping some water on your head and neck during the race.
  5. Focus on your music or inner mantra during the race. The noise of the crowds may cause you to speed up too early and leave you with no energy for the end of the marathon.[27]
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 21.jpg
    • Make a playlist that will help keep your energy up during the marathon.[28]
    • Examples of positive mantras are "I am strong and feel good" and "I am running great".[29]
  6. Look at a runner in front of you and focus on the back of their shirt. Act like you are a fisher reeling in the person in front of you. Once you pass that runner, repeat the process.[30] Keep going and remain motivated throughout the race.
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 22.jpg
    • Be prepared for the hilly last . This is where many racers run out of steam.[31]
  7. Cross the finish line and celebrate your accomplishment. Once you have crossed the finish line, it is important to stretch. Taking a long walk after the race will help flush the lactic acid out of your body and bring you gradually back to your resting state.[32]
    Run the NYC Marathon Step 23.jpg
    • Eat a big, hearty meal afterwards to replenish the nutrients your body lost while running.[33]


  • Do not do any running for 2-3 days after the marathon. Do yoga instead to recover.
  • Runners who have at least 15 NYC Marathon finishes under their belt are guaranteed a spot in all future NYC Marathons.[34]



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