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Tuesday, January 7, 2020

How to of the Day

How to of the Day


How to Transfer a License Plate

Posted: 07 Jan 2020 04:00 PM PST

If you're planning to sell an older vehicle and replace it with a new one, you can transfer the license plates to your new vehicle. To do this, both vehicles must be registered in your name and both must have the same registration code. Under certain circumstances, you can also transfer the license plates to the individual you're selling the vehicle to. While the process for transferring plates from one vehicle to another can vary widely from one U.S. state to another, there are several basic steps that you can follow regardless of where you live.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Transferring Plates between Vehicles

  1. Find a copy of your current vehicle registration paperwork. When you first registered the vehicle under your name (e.g., when you purchased the car or moved to a new state), a state official probably gave you a copy of the registration paperwork. This single sheet of paper contains your name, the vehicle's tag number, and the registration number. You'll need this document to transfer your plates.[1]
    Transfer a License Plate Step 1.jpg
    • If you've lost your registration paperwork, you may be able to request a new copy at the motor vehicle office.
  2. Gather the title to the newer vehicle you're transferring plates to. The title shows ownership of the vehicle. Since you won't have registered this vehicle in your name yet, you will have its title but not its registration. (You'll receive the registration when you transfer the plates.) So, before you transfer plates to the new vehicle, you must show ownership by presenting the title.[2]
    Transfer a License Plate Step 2.jpg
    • If you've applied to transfer the vehicle but haven't yet received the new title itself, that's okay. Just bring in the title of the copy application that you've filled out and submitted.
  3. Collect proof that the vehicle you're transferring the plates to is insured. Transfer your car insurance from your older vehicle (that currently has the plates on it) to the newer vehicle before visiting the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) office or tag office. Before transferring the plates, a clerk will request to see proof that the vehicle is insured. Documents that prove insurance include your insurance card or a paper copy of the form you received from the insurance company upon purchasing your insurance.[3]
    Transfer a License Plate Step 3.jpg
    • This may not apply in all states. In various states, you do not to show prove that you have car insurance unless you have changed insurance companies since the last time you registered a vehicle.
  4. Have your new vehicle inspected if your state requires it. Some states require that vehicles (whether new or used) undergo an inspection before they are registered and plated. In this case, take the vehicle to a reputable car mechanic. Ask them to test drive the car and look under the hood (and under the chassis) to confirm that it's in good shape. Also ask for a certificate of inspection to prove that the car passed.[4]
    Transfer a License Plate Step 4.jpg
    • In some cases, you may need to get an emissions test as well to make sure that the car isn't emitting legal limits of toxic gasses.
    • Not all states require a vehicle inspection prior to transferring license plates. To find out if your state requires it, visit the website for the state's motor-vehicle agency.
  5. Visit your local motor vehicle agency to begin the transfer process. Different states use different titles for their motor vehicle agencies. Some agencies are managed by the state's DMV, while others are referred to as "tag offices." If you're not sure where the nearest office is located, search online for "motor vehicle office near me."[5]
    Transfer a License Plate Step 5.jpg
  6. Keep your name consistent across the 2 vehicles' registrations. When you complete the registration paperwork for the newer vehicle, spell your name (and include the same parts of your name) the same as you did on the older vehicle's registration. If you register the new vehicle under a different name than the old vehicle was registered under (e.g., if you were married and changed your last name), you won't be able to transfer your license plates between vehicles.[6]
    Transfer a License Plate Step 6.jpg
    • This rule may not hold in every state. If you're not sure if this applies in your state, ask a clerk at the tag office.
  7. Pay the mandatory fee to complete the plate-transfer process. To finalize the plate transfer, the clerk will ask you to pay a small fee. The amount that you're required to pay will differ from state to state, but is usually under $10 USD. For instance, in Arkansas it costs $10 to transfer plates, but it only costs $1 in Colorado.[7]
    Transfer a License Plate Step 7.jpg
    • Pay the fee with a credit or debit card, or by writing out a check to your state's motor vehicle division.

[Edit]Transferring Plates to Another Individual

  1. Leave the plates on the vehicle if you're selling it to a family member. If you are selling a vehicle to a member of your immediate family (e.g., a sibling, child, or parent), you may leave the license plates on. Visit the DMV or tag office with your family member, and bring proof of your relationship (such as birth certificates or state-issued identification). Sign over both the vehicle's title and the license plates to your family member by filling out any paperwork provided by a DMV staff member.[8]
    Transfer a License Plate Step 8.jpg
    • Your family member can then register the vehicle in their name using the license plates still on the car.
    • If you sell the car to a family member who isn't part of your immediate family, you must remove the plates prior to the sale.
    • Likewise, if you sell the vehicle to someone you're not at all related to, remove the plates from the car before finalizing the sale.
  2. Give the plates to the new owner if they're a resident of the same state. In a few states (e.g., Delaware), you are legally permitted to leave the license plates on your car when you sell it as long as the vehicle's new owner is a resident of the same state. The new owner must then register the vehicle in their name. Check at your local tag office to make sure this is permitted before leaving your plates on the car when you sell it.[9]
    Transfer a License Plate Step 9.jpg
    • If you're not sure whether or not you can transfer plates in your state, check the website of your state's motor vehicle agency. Or, ask a staff member at the DMV or tag office.
    • Keep in mind that this may not be advantageous to you if you're replacing an older car with a newer one. Without plates to transfer to the new vehicle, you'll have to pay for new plates during registration.
  3. Return the plates to the motor vehicles office in states that require it. In certain states (e.g., Arizona), license plates are owned by the state government. Vehicle owners must return the plates to the state when they sell the car that the plates had been registered to. The simplest way to do this is to surrender the plates at the tag office. If you don't live near a tag office, you could also return the plates by mail.[10]
    Transfer a License Plate Step 10.jpg
    • To find out if your state requires drivers to return their plates, check online with the state's motor vehicle agency. Or, ask a clerk at the tag office.
    • Alternately, find your state in AAA's online listing and see if drivers are required to return plates to the state. Check online at: https://drivinglaws.aaa.com/tag/transfer-of-plates/.

[Edit]Tips

  • Some of the particularities of transferring a license plate will differ slightly from state to state. If you're ever confused or not sure what the next step should be, talk to a staff member at your local DMV or tag office.
  • In most states, when you sell a vehicle to a new owner (as long as they live in the same state as you), they can keep the same plates on the vehicle. The new owner will still need register the vehicle under their name, though.[11]
  • In most states (e.g., North Carolina), the plate-transfer fee will be waived if the vehicle's owner dies and the title and registration are passed to the owner's spouse.[12]

[Edit]References

How to Start a Jewelry Business

Posted: 07 Jan 2020 08:00 AM PST

Starting your own jewelry business can be an intimidating but also incredibly rewarding experience. Whether you're interested in making your own pieces, producing your designs with a manufacturer, or selling pre-made products, a jewelry business can be a great way to bring in some extra cash or even a full-time income. Although the jewelry market may appear crowded, you can set yourself for success by creating a strong business plan, identifying and targeting a specific audience, and cultivating a unique brand for your product.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Setting up a Plan and Legal Foundation

  1. Create a business plan as a roadmap. A business plan is a comprehensive document that outlines what your business is and where it is going. It should also include an actionable, time-based plan for reaching those goals. To start, you can search online for templates and examples of small business plans, especially for jewelry businesses. Then, for your own business, write down your:[1]
    Start a Jewelry Business Step 1.jpg
    • Vision and mission: what you want to achieve with your business.
    • Products and activities: the kind of jewelry you will sell and any other activities you will participate in (such as teaching or bespoke commissions).
    • Customers: types of people you hope will buy your jewelry.
    • Customer Service: how you will reach and interact with your potential customers (such as email, social media, or a physical storefront).
    • Suppliers and Resources: everywhere you will get your supplies, including labor.
    • Income Sources: how your business will bring in money (jewelry sales, workshops, or commissions, for example).
    • Pricing and Cost Structure: how you will determine prices for your jewelry and what types of payment you will accept.
    • Brand and Visuals: key elements of your brand and how you will represent yourself visually in marketing materials and online.
    • Marketing: how you will get the word out about your business.
    • Team: everyone involved in the business and what their roles will be.
  2. Choose a name for your business. The name of your jewelry business may be the first thing your potential customers hear, so make sure it is unique and memorable. Consider choosing a name that relates to common industry terms so your potential customers know what you're selling: the names of materials you work with frequently ("gold" or "beads"), your method of production ("crafts" or "creations" for handmade pieces), or your style ("boho designs" or "minimalist"). If you plan to make a very specific type of jewelry, feel free to be more specific with your name ("The Pendant Boutique" or "Crochet Bracelet Creations," for example).
    Start a Jewelry Business Step 2.jpg
    • To ensure your business name is not already taken by others, run a quick search to see if the website name is still available. You can also check with the Patent and Trademark Office, your local government, or an attorney, who can conduct a name search for you.[2]
    • Many successful designers incorporate their own names into the titles of their jewelry businesses.
  3. Register your business with a government agency. Different countries and U.S. states have different regulations, but many will require that you register your business to achieve legitimate legal status. Since procedures vary from location to location, it's best to start by contacting your city's Chamber of Commerce or Small Business Development Center. They can help guide you through the steps to legally register your business.[3]
    Start a Jewelry Business Step 3 Version 2.jpg
    • When registering your business, be sure to clarify what records you'll be required to keep going forward. You don't want to be stuck with the wrong data when it comes time to file your taxes.[4]
  4. Build a basic financial model. Estimate all your costs and compare them to your expected sales to determine if your business is realistic. Make sure to include overhead costs like equipment, utilities, marketing, and labor, as well as the cost of supplies. If you overall costs are greater than your expected sales, think about how you can change your business plan to create a more sustainable venture. Consider ways to reduce your expenses as well as methods for increasing your income.[5]
    Start a Jewelry Business Step 4.jpg
    • For example, if you want to use high-priced gemstones in your work, you'll need to sell your pieces for a higher cost in order to make a profit. This may determine the types of customers you'll need to target.

[Edit]Creating Your Product

  1. Make your own pieces if you enjoy hand-crafting jewelry. Making jewelry by hand can help you create unique, personalized products. Depending on your talents and interest, there are many ways to make your own pieces including beading, metalwork, fabric or string arts, and gemstone setting. If you already enjoy jewelry making, making your own products can also be a great way to translate a hobby into a profitable business venture. If you're new to jewelry making, consider starting with free online classes to pick up some basic skills.[6]
    Start a Jewelry Business Step 5.jpg
    • Whether you're an experienced crafter or entirely new to jewelry-making, you can refine your skills through YouTube tutorials, instructional books, and websites. You can also search online to see what in-person courses may be available in your area at local schools and craft stores. [7]
  2. Produce jewelry through a manufacturer if you prefer to focus on design. If you have an idea for the product but don't want to make each piece yourself, you can hire a manufacturer to produce your jewelry. Start with accurate sketches or 3D renderings of your design, then hire an assembly team or third-party manufacturer to create the actual pieces. Most manufacturers can ship directly to your customers.[8]
    Start a Jewelry Business Step 6.jpg
    • To produce your designs, you can choose to use a simple pencil and sketch pad or invest in design software like Photoshop, Illustrator, GIMP, Pixlr, Inkscape or DrawPlus. Especially if you're working with fine jewelry, you might consider jewelry-specific design software like JewelCAD, Matrix, or Rhinojewel.[9]
    • Local manufacturers can offer simpler communication and faster shipping times, while overseas manufacturers may be able to provide lower costs or more production options. Try searching https://makersrow.com, www.mfg.com, or www.alibaba.com for options.[10]
  3. Sell pre-made jewelry for a more large-scale approach. Consider bringing in pre-manufactured jewelry from a wholesaler like Alibaba. You can then repackage and sell these pieces individually with a markup. This pre-made jewelry can serve as your entire inventory or you can use it to supplement your own designs.[11]
    Start a Jewelry Business Step 7.jpg
    • When purchasing jewelry wholesale, the price-per-item usually drops if you purchase more pieces. Consider waiting until you can place a large order to increase your profit on each piece of jewelry you sell.[12]

[Edit]Identifying and Selling to Customers

  1. Determine your potential customers and research how to engage with them. An easy place to start is by looking at jewelry businesses similar to your own. By visiting craft fairs, searching online selling websites like Etsy, browsing social media, or scheduling friendly chats, figure out who their audience is, how they sell their products, and how they engage with their customers. [13]
    Start a Jewelry Business Step 8.jpg
    • Speak with friends and family or do a poll on social media to determine what types of jewelry your potential audience is looking for and how they prefer to shop.[14]
    • If you've already sold any pieces of jewelry, ask your customers why they chose to purchase from you.
  2. Select locations to sell your jewelry depending on your customers' preferences. Based on your customer research, make strategic decisions about where to sell your pieces. For example, if you learn that your desired customers don't use online shopping, you'll probably have more luck selling at boutiques or crafts fairs. Consider:[15]
    Start a Jewelry Business Step 9.jpg
    • Setting up a booth at local and regional arts and crafts fairs.
    • Selling at farmers markets.
    • Placing products at local boutiques by speaking to their purchasing managers.
    • Setting up a page on Etsy or Amazon.
    • Selling directly through your business' website.
    • Hosting jewelry parties or selling to your friends and family.
    • Utilizing social media platforms like Facebook Marketplace.
  3. Price your jewelry so that you can make a profit. Start by determining how much it costs you to produce each piece of jewelry by adding the price of the materials, the time it took you to produce the piece (determined by an hourly market rate), the cost of the packaging, and any taxes. In order to make a profit from your jewelry, your retail price must be greater than the cost it took to produce it.[16]
    Start a Jewelry Business Step 10.jpg
    • Typically, retailers will sell jewelry at 1.5-2.5 times higher than the cost to produce the piece. So, for example, if it cost you $50 to produce a necklace, you could consider selling it for $75-$125.[17]

[Edit]Building an Effective Brand

  1. Find what makes your brand different and make it your main selling point. Understanding what makes your product stand out is the first step in defining your brand. If you already have an inventory of jewelry, examine it to see if any patterns emerge, such as a certain aesthetic or trend. Certain principles (sustainability or female empowerment, for example) may also guide your business and be part of your differentiator. Whether it's a minimalist geometric look, a commitment to using recycled materials, or a dependably fashion-forward style, a consistent and unique brand can help bring in new business as well as repeat customers.[18]
    Start a Jewelry Business Step 11.jpg
    • Try searching online and saving images that inspire you to see if any trends emerge. Pinterest, Etsy, and Instagram can be great places to start.
    • If you don't have a strong vision for your brand at the beginning, you can figure it out as you go. Make or purchase jewelry that what inspires you and then talk to your customers about what attracted them to your work. [19]
  2. Craft a logo that reflects your brand. Creating a memorable and effective logo can help make a great first impression on potential customers. When designing your logo, remember to keep your brand and target audience at the center of your decisions. Make a list of everything you want your logo to communicate about your business, as well as any aesthetic requirements, before starting your first design.[20]
    Start a Jewelry Business Step 12.jpg
    • If you have the resources, you can hire a professional designer to create a logo for you. Try searching online for designers through websites like 99Designs.[21]
    • If you're on a tighter budget, there are plenty of free online logo makers. Shopify, Logaster, and Canva all offer easy to use logo makers or generators.[22]
  3. Start a website for your business. Your website will serve as one of the most public-facing displays of your jewelry business and should help to establish your brand. Create a website that includes images of your work, details on how to purchase it, and contact information. If you want to sell your products online, you can also choose to sell your jewelry directly through your website.
    Start a Jewelry Business Step 13.jpg
    • Purchase the domain name for your business through a registrar like GoDaddy, Namecheap, 1&1 Internet or Dotster.[23]
    • Based on your budget and design preferences, choose a service to host your website such as Google sites, Wix, Weebly, Intuit, Yahoo, Bluehost, Ruxter, or Squarespace. Many of these web hosts will provide templates for you to create your website.
    • If you want to sell your jewelry through your website, look for a web hosting service that offers built-in ecommerce software, like Shopify, Bigcommerce, Wix, Weebly or Squarespace. If you're more confident in your web development skills, you can also choose to use self-hosted open source shopping cart software, such as Magento, Word Press with WooCommerce, or Open Cart.[24]
  4. Take great photos of your jewelry for marketing and online sales. Since jewelry is a largely visual product, good photos are critical to your business, especially if you're selling online. Even the most beautiful piece of jewelry can look unappealing to buyers if the photographs are poorly lit or unflattering. Take high-quality photos of your work to increase online sales and create attention-grabbing marketing and online materials.[25]
    Start a Jewelry Business Step 14.jpg
    • If you're not great at photography, hire a professional. Even just a handful of images can provide a strong base for marketing materials. [26]
    • Be consistent with your product photography and try to use similar backgrounds for all your photos. For backdrops, consider using plain white, wood grain, marble, or slate. Also think about photographing your jewelry on a model to show scale and styling suggestions. [27]
  5. Develop a presence on social media for your brand. Creating accounts on social media can help to advertise your jewelry company and introduce your work to new customers. Use these accounts to share photos of your products, information about your business, and updates like sales or new lines. Include links to your social media accounts in your website, marketing pieces, and even packaging materials. Encourage your customers to post photos of themselves wearing your jewelry that you can "like" or share on your own pages.
    Start a Jewelry Business Step 15.jpg
    • Instagram is a great platform for visually striking products like jewelry. Start a profile for your business and create posts featuring your most photogenic jewelry. Follow accounts for similar businesses and use hashtags like #jewelry or #instajewelry to attract new eyes. If you have the budget, try reaching your audience through Instagram ads.[28]
    • Facebook is great for staying in touch with customers, posting product photos, and sharing news about your business, like sales or special deals. Encourage your friends, family, and repeat customers to share your posts with their own networks in order to reach new audiences.[29]

[Edit]References

  1. https://www.jewellersacademy.com/blog/business-planing-for-your-jewelry-business
  2. https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/53294
  3. https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/53294
  4. https://jewelrymakingjournal.com/do-i-need-a-business-license-to-sell-my-jewelry/
  5. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERogM9Rg8Xw
  6. https://www.jewellersacademy.com/blog/start-a-jewellery-business
  7. https://www.shopify.com/blog/203365449-start-a-jewellery-making-business
  8. https://www.shopify.com/blog/203365449-start-a-jewellery-making-business
  9. https://www.shopify.com/blog/203365449-start-a-jewellery-making-business
  10. https://www.shopify.com/blog/203365449-start-a-jewellery-making-business
  11. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfswDNKPV2s
  12. https://www.somethingspecialla.com/blog/?p=172
  13. https://www.jewellersacademy.com/blog/start-a-jewellery-business
  14. https://www.jewellersacademy.com/blog/start-a-jewellery-business
  15. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfswDNKPV2s
  16. https://www.jewellersacademy.com/blog/pricing-your-jewellery-for-profit
  17. https://www.jewellersacademy.com/blog/pricing-your-jewellery-for-profit
  18. https://www.shopify.com/blog/203365449-start-a-jewellery-making-business#starting
  19. https://www.jewellersacademy.com/blog/start-a-jewellery-business
  20. https://www.shopify.com/blog/203365449-start-a-jewellery-making-business#starting
  21. https://mashable.com/2014/04/30/logo-design-tips/
  22. https://www.templatemonster.com/blog/best-free-logo-maker-services/
  23. https://www.thesitewizard.com/archive/registerdomain.shtml
  24. https://www.websitebuilderexpert.com/ecommerce-website-builders/best/ecommerce-software/
  25. https://www.jewellersacademy.com/blog/start-a-jewellery-business
  26. https://www.jewellersacademy.com/blog/start-a-jewellery-business
  27. https://www.jewellersacademy.com/blog/start-a-jewellery-business
  28. https://picupmedia.com/blog/how-to-sell-jewelry-on-instagram/
  29. http://www.jewelleryworld.net.au/2018/05/21/how-to-promote-your-jewellery-business-on-social-media/

How to Cope with a Dysfunctional Family

Posted: 07 Jan 2020 12:00 AM PST

It is never easy to cope with a dysfunctional family. Family dysfunction can drain your emotional and physical energy. Family get-togethers may be very difficult and managing conflict may feel impossible. To cope, learn to set boundaries and avoid subjects that cause disagreement. Limit contact with family members that cause problems and learn to put yourself first. Remember, your emotional needs and well-being should be valued. When coping with a dysfunctional family, know and stand up for your own rights.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Dealing with Family Events

  1. Keep your expectations realistic. Dysfunctional families may be resistant to change. When going into a family situation, work on keeping your expectations in check. If you accept that some conflict and difficulty is inevitable, you may be less frustrated by disagreement.[1]
    Cope With Stigma Step 19.jpg
    • Know your most difficult family members. Limit the amount of time you spend with these people. If your mother, for instance, tends to be the cause of drama, keep your distance.
    • Do not expect a dramatic change. Breaking free of a cycle of dysfunction is difficult. If it does happen, it will take time. Go into the event knowing it will likely be difficult. At the same time, do be open to the possibility that it might be okay. Don't foreshadow events by deciding that they will be terrible. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
  2. Take someone with you to family events. Having a buffer can help you cope. Ask a friend or romantic partner to accompany you to support you emotionally during family functions.[2]
    Make Your Wife Happy Step 8 Version 2.jpg
    • Your family may be on better behavior in the presence of an outsider. Is there anyone you could invite? Maybe a friend of yours does not have Christmas plans. See if they want to join your family's festivities.
    • Give your buffer a fair warning, however. Let them know your family can be difficult at times.
  3. Limit alcohol. Alcohol tends to fuel emotion. If your family is difficult by nature, too much alcohol could lead to an increase in conflict.[3]
    Improve Kidney Function Step 6.jpg
    • There may be problem drinkers in your family. If this is the case, it's a good idea to call family members and request an alcohol-free get together.
    • Try to provide other beverages, like sparkling cider, instead of alcohol.
    • Some family members may be uninterested in attending an event without alcohol. These people will likely not show up, or leave early. Limiting alcohol can be a great way to keep the more difficult family members away.
  4. Steer the conversation away from conflict. If your family fights, you can take it upon yourself to limit argument. It's frustrating when it's up to you to make sure people get along, but sometimes it's inevitable. Listen to various conversations and work on changing the topic when necessary.[4]
    Cope With Being Alone on Valentine's Day Step 2.jpg
    • By now, you likely know the topics that trigger drama in your family. For instance, maybe your Uncle John is chronically unemployed due to his drinking. He tends to become very sensitive when the topic is raised.
    • When you hear the problem topic arising, act fast. For example, maybe your dad says something like, "John, have you applied to any jobs lately? It's been, what, 6 months?"
    • Jump in right away and steer the conversation out of the danger zone. You can try to play a game, like 20 questions, or simply change the subject. For example, "Dad, actually, Sarah just applied to a job at a bookstore. She's really excited about it."
    • It can be helpful to go into the event with a list of "safe" topics that you think everyone will enjoy. Maybe jot these down in your phone in case you panic and forget.
  5. Have an escape route. At times, it's appropriate to walk away. If someone is getting hostile or difficult, know an excuse you can use to dodge an interaction.[5]
    Cure Dehydration at Home Step 8.jpg
    • Think of various ways to slip out for a minute. You could, for example, offer to help out in the kitchen or run to the store to get something.
    • If you want to leave early, think of an excuse. You could say you're watching a friend's pet and need to check in on it, for example. It can be helpful to lay the groundwork for this early. Say on the front end that you can only stay until whatever determined time, and that way people are not offended when you leave.
  6. Let go of some conflicts. You do not have control over other people's lives and decisions. Even if you want a family member to change, you cannot do it for them. Try to avoid becoming emotionally invested in long-standing conflicts over which you have little power.[6]
    Cope when No One Cares About You Step 1 Version 3.jpg
    • For instance, maybe your mother is always very critical of you and your siblings. As a result, none of you have much contact with her. At family events, she continues to be critical and push people away.
    • You may wish your mother was different. You may want a better relationship with her; however, keep in mind it's her responsibility to change. If she continues to be resistant to altering her behavior, there is little you can do for her. Try your best to emotionally disengage.
    • Also remember that family events may just not be the right time to address these conflicts. Know that you can revisit these issues at a later time if you feel it's important. That way, holidays are not ruined by fighting.

[Edit]Managing Your Relationship with Your Family

  1. Recognize your own emotional needs. You have a right to feel respected and safe in your relationships. No one should violate this right. The first step to asserting yourself is identifying what you need.[7]
    Enjoy Each Day Step 13.jpg
    • Everyone deserves respect, and that includes you. You have a right to be around people who bring you up rather than down. In a dysfunctional family, your thoughts may be skewed. You may question whether you deserve respect. Remind yourself you do.
    • Think about what behaviors are and are not acceptable. For example, maybe your father continually criticizing your career choice is not acceptable to you. You're proud of what you do, regardless of what your father thinks. It's well within your rights to assert as much.
  2. Be firm about boundaries. In the moment, let someone know when they've crossed a line. You do not have to be aggressive or mean. You can be respectful while simultaneously making it clear where the line is.[8]
    Cope With Stigma Step 38.jpg
    • For example, shopping with your mother is always a headache. She's very critical of your appearance and tends to scrutinize the clothing you like. However, she continues to push you to go shopping with her.
    • Your mother has asked you repeatedly to go shopping this weekend. After the third or fourth time she asks, state your boundaries clearly. Say something like, "Mom, I love the time we spend together, but I think we stress each other out when we go shopping together. If you want to get lunch or see a movie some time, great, but I'm not interested in going shopping with you anymore."
    • After establishing your boundaries, it can be helpful to change the subject. This signals to the other party that the boundaries are not up for debate and also suggests that you are not angry with them. Ask about a mutual friend or if they've seen any good movies recently.
  3. Use "I"-statements when you assert yourself. "I"-statements are statements phrased in a way to reduce blame. Instead of placing an objective judgment on a situation, you emphasize your personal feelings. They have 3 parts. They begin with "I feel..." after which you immediately state your feelings. From there, you explain the behavior that led to that feeling. Lastly, you say why you felt the way you did.[9]
    Cope With Stigma Step 11 Version 2.jpg
    • For example, you're frustrated that your father has again insulted your girlfriend in front of you. You may be inclined to say something like, "It's incredibly rude to make comments on Noel's weight. That's completely disrespectful to me and to her."
    • This can be rephrased using an "I"-statement. Say something like, "I feel disrespected when you make comments on Noel's weight because that's an issue she's very sensitive to and I've explained this to you before."
  4. Lead by example. Show genuine compassion and concern for your family. Check in with them regularly and invest in them as people. Do not let their bad behavior dictate your treatment of them — the 2 should exist separately from each other.
    Tell if Your Teen Is Being Abused Step 2 Version 3.jpg
    • For instance, don't respond to a rude family member by being rude in return or by just writing them off. Try to respond to them with compassion and understanding. Going tit-for-tat isn't going to improve the situation.
  5. Walk away when necessary. Despite your best efforts to assert your needs, some people are just very difficult. If your family is not responding to your attempts to assert yourself, it's okay to leave some situations.[10]
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    • For example, your father is relentless when you tell him to stop disrespecting your girlfriend. Instead of apologizing, he responds, "You're being hypersensitive. I just care about her health." You can tell, from his tone, he's getting hostile.
    • It may not be worth it to push the issue at this point. Your father is getting angry. Even as you try to respectfully address the situation, he's trying to force an argument.
    • At this point, just walk away. Say something like, "This isn't getting us anywhere. I'm going to go for a walk, okay?" Then, give yourself some time to cool down.

[Edit]Regulating Your Emotions

  1. See a therapist. It's very hard to deal with the emotional toll of a dysfunctional family alone. A qualified therapist can help you deal with the damage done by familial dysfunction. Seek out a therapist in your area to work out your issues.[11]
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    • You can ask your regular doctor for a referral to a therapist. You can also ask your insurance provider to help you find a therapist in your area.
    • If you are a student, you may be entitled to free counseling from your college or university.
  2. Allow yourself to feel angry. Many people feel they must forgive or let go of bad behavior. If your family has been unfair to you, it's okay to feel anger. It's actually healthy to allow yourself to experience anger when you've been disrespected or mistreated.[12]
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    • Forgiveness can be the last step in recovery. However, it is rarely healthy to forgive first. You need to put the blame on those causing the problems. Do not expect yourself to fix problems via forgiveness.
    • Find productive ways to vent anger. Talk to close friends or go to support groups. You can also write a letter to difficult family members and then burn it.
  3. Work on expressing your emotions. If you come from a dysfunctional family, you may have difficulty expressing your emotions. Work on ways to express yourself in a healthy and productive fashion. If you're seeing a therapist, it may be valuable to talk this over with them.[13]
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    • Stop to identify your emotions several times a day. Growing up in a dysfunctional family, you may have learned to repress or ignore your emotions. Try to take time to notice what you are feeling. Also, what caused the feeling? What are you responding to? You can try keeping a journal in which you record your daily feelings.
    • You can cope with your emotions by sharing them with others. Work on finding people who are supportive. You should only share your emotions with people who respond with kindness and affirmation.
  4. Learn to trust others. This can be one of the hardest parts of coping with a dysfunctional family. It may be difficult to trust if you come from a difficult home life. Start by taking small risks, and then build from there.[14]
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    • Practice seeking out the support of healthy people. Get to know people who are kind and positive. Building a "family" of quality friends is extremely important in maintaining self-esteem and helping someone cope with family dysfunction.
    • You may have difficulty telling others how you're feeling. Work on getting over this hurdle. Start by occasionally expressing small needs and wants to those around you. You can begin expressing greater needs and wants over time.
  5. Take good care of yourself. You may neglect your own self-care if you come from a dysfunctional home. If you spent a lot of time coping with conflict, you may put your own health and well-being aside. Work on practicing basic self-care. This alone can help you better regulate your emotions.[15]
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    • You need to do things for yourself. Make sure you eat healthy meals, get exercise, and take care of basic hygiene.
    • You should also treat yourself on occasion. If you need to take a day off, take one. Indulge in small pleasures, like going to see a movie, having coffee with a friend, or ordering takeout after a long day.

[Edit]Tips

  • Be aware that others may be "dumping" their negative feelings on you. If someone is feeling helpless or powerless, they may criticize you in order to feel stronger. Do not take this personally.

[Edit]Warnings

  • If dysfunction takes the form of physical abuse, end the relationship. No one should be hitting, kicking, or otherwise physically harming you.

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary