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Monday, January 20, 2020

How to of the Day

How to of the Day


How to Change the World

Posted: 20 Jan 2020 04:00 PM PST

You want to change the world, but you aren't sure where to start. First and foremost, remember that changing the world can mean so many different things. You might change the world in one big way, or you might do many small things. You'll need to think big, but manage your expectations. Most importantly: find a cause and get started.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Thinking Big

  1. Understand what's wrong. Read the news and magazines. Ask questions. Broaden your awareness as far as you can. The world is a wide and wondrous place, and you won't be able to change much if you don't understand what's going on out there.
    Change the World Step 1 Version 4.jpg
    • Don't just read your local news – read news from other cities, other states, other countries. Read opinions and accounts from people who live across the world.
    • Watch documentaries and TED Talks.[1] Listen to lectures. Focus on specific subject. Try to learn as much as you can.
  2. Identify specific problems. It is one thing to say that you want to change the world because you sense an imbalance. It is another to say: There is war in Palestine; there is a drought in California; there are people dying in refugee camps in central Africa; there are rainforests being burned in Brazil; there are entire island nations in the Indian Ocean that are being evacuated due to rising sea levels. There is a lot to change!
    Change the World Step 2 Version 4.jpg
  3. See the world. Travel to foreign lands, if you can, and speak to locals about the way that they live. Visit people in your community who live differently than you – people who make more or less money; who are younger or older; who come from a different ethnic or religious background. Use the Internet to supplement and share your explorations. Try to drink in as much of this planet as you can. Learn to love it.
    Change the World Step 3 Version 3.jpg
    • You don't need to have a lot of money to see the world. Think about how much you can experience just by walking down the block, or visiting a neighboring city. If you truly want to travel, you can find a way.
    • Try to learn from every experience. When you visit a foreign country, don't cut yourself off from the culture. Immerse yourself!
    • If the thought of travel for travel's sake seems too hedonistic, think about taking some sort of service trip. Volunteer to build houses or protect an ecosystem; join the Peace Corps, Doctors Without Borders, or another international aid organization; WWOOF and help out local farmers in a work/trade situation. Find a way to give back!
  4. Consider what you want to change. Try to pick out the issues that resonate most with you. Ask yourself what feels important. Perhaps you want to spend your life battling climate change, or purging slavery from the world, or saving a species from the brink of extinction. You might change the world in one big way, and you might change it in many small ways.
    Change the World Step 4 Version 4.jpg
    • There are many ways to change the world. You can change a rough stone to precious diamond.Just you have to find the way.

[Edit]Managing Your Expectations

  1. Ask yourself what it means to change the world. It is a grand intention, to be sure, and you can certainly find a way to make a difference if you have the will and means to do so. However, it's important to remember that "changing the world" usually doesn't mean "fixing everything about the world." It typically means something more like, "encountering a problem and fixing that problem."
    Change the World Step 5 Version 4.jpg
  2. Know that change doesn't come overnight. Even the quickest and most decisive revolutions take months or years of groundwork.Patience brings Reward. Don't expect to change the world with one big, heroic act. Try to live your values each day, even if you don't see much appreciable change on a day-to-day level. Work hard and don't give up.Be Patient
    Change the World Step 6 Version 4.jpg
    • Even if your cumulative actions don't change the world, you'll be able to say that you lived a life you're proud of. You might inspire or teach others by example. You may find that change occurs when you least expect it.
  3. Don't lose sight of your ideals. Be patient and intentional – but not too patient. Set realistic goals for yourself, but try not to lose your fire in the details. Your desire to change the world is powerful as long as it burns within you.
    Change the World Step 7 Version 4.jpg
  4. Think about your natural gifts. There is a quote, often (dubiously) attributed to Pablo Picasso: "The purpose of life is to discover your gift. The meaning of life is to give it away."[2] Consider what you love doing: a thing that sets you afire with passion, that consumes you, that holds your focus for hours at the hint of a spark. Do that thing, even if no one else is doing it. Find a way to share it with the world.[3]
    Change the World Step 8 Version 4.jpg
    • Consider all the various ways that people have changed the world. Nelson Mandela changed the world by combating Apartheid; Henry Ford by popularizing the automobile; Steve Jobs changing personal computers; Gutenberg by inventing the printing press; Marco Polo by traveling widely and connecting cultures. You can draw inspiration from someone else, or you can forge your own way.
    • Read about people who have changed the world. Seek inspiration in their stories. These people can be almost anyone that you admire: not just Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Steve Jobs, Jr., but Bill Gates, Abraham Lincoln, or Bill McKibben.
  5. Specify your dreams. Try to get to the root of the fantasy in your head. What does it really look like, in your mind's eye, to "change the world?" Is it writing a book, patenting an invention, organizing people, saving a species? There are so many ways to make a difference, on myriad magnitudes. No doubt, some of these avenues will catch your fancy more than others.
    Change the World Step 9 Version 4.jpg
  6. Remember that you don't need to do it alone. Martin Luther King, Jr. made his marches and speeches with the help of hordes of passionate activists. JFK didn't avert the Cuban Missile Crisis single-handedly – he did so with a brilliant board of ministers and advisers. John Lennon may never have helped so many people "Imagine" without the rest of the Beatles. Live passionately and create gravity around your values. As you begin to gather momentum, you may draw other passionate people into your orbit.
    Change the World Step 10 Version 4.jpg
    • Organize a club or a discussion group. Gather some of your friends to volunteer with you. Share your thoughts on social media and try to spread the word. Consider that things might happen much more quickly if there are others involved.
    • Libraries will often let you use their facilities for free to start harmless, non-controversial groups. If you can't do that, check out the price for the community building rental. Or: simply host meetings in your home!
    • Try joining an existing organization. Volunteer for a nonprofit, or donate to a charity, or apply for a service program. If you don't know where to start, there are a lot of good people already out there making difference.

[Edit]Helping Humanity

  1. Volunteer or donate to charity. It's not just about working in a soup kitchen or visiting the old folks' home. Today anyone can volunteer to do anything![4] Contact the local volunteer organisations in your area and discover a cause that you feel passionate about. Start a petition, donate money, support a charity, fundraise, or be an advocate.[5]
    Help Change the World Step 1 Version 3.jpg
    • Don't donate to the first charity you come across. There are huge differences in efficiency. If you want to make sure that your money is used to save as many lives as possible, do check out givewell.org. Picking one of their most recommended charities is quick and easy, but you can also read up on why they chose those if you're interested. Other possible sites are BBB Start With Trust or Charity Navigator.
    • Buy a wristband. They are all the rage in Hollywood, with lots of celebrities sporting the most recent fashion accessory—a charity wristband. Not only do they look cool, they're cheap and a great way to do your bit for your favorite cause.
    • If you want to help the developing world, the best charities are ones which help people to help themselves. These do the most good by enabling communities to strengthen and improve themselves. Examples of charities that do work like this are Heifer International, Kiva, or Free the Children. Education charities, like One Laptop Per Child, are also good.
  2. Shop carefully. Businesses are some of the most important and influential organizations in the world today. They are involved with, or in some way influence, almost any issue you can think of and can sometimes be even more influential than governments in those issues. Luckily, you have opportunities every day to encourage businesses to do the right thing. Every time you buy something, you are giving your approval for whatever process was involved in its production. The next time you're in the grocery store, take an extra look at the labels.
    Help Change the World Step 2 Version 3.jpg
    • Take a close look at your options. Ask yourself questions: "Do I want to support this type of business?" "Are the farmers or factory workers that made this treated well?" "Is this product traded fairly?" "Is it healthy?" "Is it good for the environment?" "Does the sale of this product help support an oppressive political regime?"
  3. Take part in blood donations. Many countries (especially Australia, Britain, Canada, and the United States) frequently experience record lows of blood stores and desperately need more people to donate. It only takes about half an hour and doesn't hurt (much!).[6] Visit Red Cross or United Blood Services for more information.[7]
    Help Change the World Step 3 Version 3.jpg
  4. Become an advocate. Speak up about injustices in the world and get your friends involved, too. Organize fundraisers to help raise money for your chosen charity or cause. If you can't raise money, add your voice to those already campaigning to end poverty, war, injustice, sexism, racism, or corruption in the world. Activism can start at any age. Craig Kielburger was twelve years old when he became an activist for child labour rights. He went on, with his brother, to start Free the Children and Me to We.
    Help Change the World Step 4 Version 3.jpg
  5. Become an organ donor. You won't need your organs when you are dead, so why not give them to someone who can use them? Save the lives of up to eight people by placing yourself on the organ donors' register in your country.[8] Talk about the decision with your family and let them know your wishes.
    Help Change the World Step 5 Version 3.jpg

[Edit]Helping Protect and Preserve Your Planet

  1. Recycle. It's not something only hippies do! Anyone can recycle, and these days just about anything can be recycled—from newspapers and plastic, to computers and old mobile (cell) phones. Encourage your school or workplace to recycle and to use recycled products.[9]
    Help Change the World Step 6 Version 3.jpg
  2. Stop driving everywhere! You probably already know that vehicle emissions are bad for the planet. What you may not know is how you can reduce your emissions: Start walking to nearby places. Use public transportation whenever possible. You can also do things like riding a bike to work instead of taking a car. If you need to use a car, consider purchasing one which uses a mix of electricity (a renewable energy source) and gas or only electricity.[10]
    Help Change the World Step 7 Version 2.jpg
  3. Reduce your impact on the planet. Reduce your harmful impact on the planet by reusing items and materials when you can, using green products, buying local food and items (supporting your local economy), and conserving resources such as water.[11] This will help protect the planet and provide a healthy environment for all people who will live on after us.[12]
    Help Change the World Step 8 Version 2.jpg
    • Help others to do the same by educating them about how they can reduce their impact on the planet. Remember: don't be preachy or self-righteous. You're doing this to help the planet, not so you can be smarter or better than your neighbour.
  4. Minimize your water usage. Did you know that there will probably be a major water crisis in our lifetimes? The problem is that we consume and use water faster than we can clean old and new water. Help alleviate this problem by taking shorter showers, being careful when washing dishes, not leaving the water running when you brush your teeth, and generally paying attention to how you use water.[13]
    Help Change the World Step 9 Version 2.jpg
    • Another thing to avoid is watering your lawn in the summer. Collect and use gray water for this purpose, as using clean drinking water to water grass is very wasteful.
  5. Support animal welfare. All life should be appreciated if humanity is to step forward in our pursuit for a better society. Spend time supporting animal rights, volunteer at your local shelter, or donate to an organization for animal welfare. Keep in mind that most animal suffering happens to farm animals, not pets. Most people forget this, since they can't see the animals they eat. Consider going vegetarian - it's healthier, helps the environment, reduces animal suffering and might actually be cheaper! If you can't imagine being vegetarian, eating less meat also works. Remember, it doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing decision.[14]
    Help Change the World Step 10 Version 2.jpg
    • However, do your research before donating to organizations such as the Humane Society of the United States (HSUS for short), PETA, or other big-name corporations; sometimes a large percentage of the money will not go to the animals. A great site for comparing charities is http://www.animalcharityevaluators.org/
    • Don't buy animal food for donations. Donating your money directly to the shelter is much better, because the shelter can get food cheaper in bulk and it's hard to plan for donated goods. Fostering an animal for a short period of time is another great way to show your support of animals, and it costs little to no money to do!

[Edit]Helping the People In Your Life

  1. Pay it forward.[15] Seen the movie? Well, just like Haley Joel Osment, you can help others by "paying it forward." Simply do something nice for 3 people (or, preferably, more and with no limit) without being asked, and in return, tell them to do the same to 3 more people. And so on and so on. Imagine if everyone followed through with this and what kind of world it would be![16]
    Help Change the World Step 11 Version 2.jpg
  2. Don't intentionally hurt others. Imagine a society where every single person did not look to harm another individual. You wouldn't have to lock your doors at night and self-defense would be a thing of the past. You may think one person cannot make a difference. The whole world is just seven billion individuals. Just think, you may inspire someone to be like you and start a chain reaction!
    Help Change the World Step 12 Version 2.jpg
  3. Laugh and smile! Many believe that laughter is the best medicine you can have.[17] Not only that, but people who are happy are often more healthy and are lots more fun to be around![18] Sharing a smile and a laugh with someone is easy, completely free, and may just make someone's day! When your happiness is contributing to the happiness and well-being of other people and the planet, that's called sustainable happiness!
    Help Change the World Step 13.jpg

[Edit]Tips

  • Don't limit yourself to this article. If you think of another way to change the world: do it!
  • Remember, there are may problems that most people don't know about because mainstream news doesn't talk about them. There are still people suffering long after the media stops covering an incident. In Haiti, for instance, many are still left homeless from the January 2010 earthquake.
  • Visit your Chamber of Commerce. Ask about local nonprofit organizations to volunteer or donate to.
  • Don't forget about individuals. Helping an elderly woman cross the street, holding a door open, and smiling are simple ways you can encourage someone to do the same. Ultimately, you might make the world a happier place through a chain of good intentions.
  • Be educated about your cause. If someone asks you a question, you want to know the answer.

[Edit]Warnings

  • Don't get too obsessed. If you neglect yourself for your cause, you might prevent yourself from participating in future events.
  • Make sure when you donate, you know exactly where the money is going. Ascertain that your information will remain private. There are a lot of scams out there.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

How to Make a Green Tea Toner

Posted: 20 Jan 2020 08:00 AM PST

Green tea has anti-inflammatory, anti-carcinogenic, and antioxidant properties.[1] This means that green tea may be beneficial for a wide-range of skin problems and for your skin's general health. You can easily make a toner using freshly brewed green tea to gain these benefits. Add optional ingredients to customize your toner and use it twice daily for best results.

[Edit]Ingredients

  • 1 green tea bag or 1 teaspoon (5 g) of loose green tea
  • of boiling water
  • of lemon juice (optional)
  • of honey (optional)
  • of apple cider vinegar (optional)
  • of witch hazel (optional)
  • 3-5 drops of vitamin E oil (optional)
  • 30 drops of tea tree oil (optional)
  • 30 drops of lavender oil (optional)

Makes approximately of toner

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Making a Basic Green Tea Toner

  1. Add 1 green tea bag or 1 teaspoon (5 g) of loose green tea to a mug. Use plain green tea and unwrap the bag. Then, place the bag into the mug. If you're using loose leaf tea, measure out the tea and add it directly to the mug.[2]

    Make a Green Tea Toner Step 1 Version 4.jpg
    • You may use regular or organic green tea, if desired.
  2. Pour of boiling water over the tea. Bring the water to a boil in a tea kettle or in the microwave in a microwave safe container. Then, pour the water over the tea.[3]

    • You may use filtered water or tap water.
  3. Steep the tea for 3 to 5 minutes. Stir the tea bag or leaves around after you first add the water, and then allow the tea to sit undisturbed for the rest of the steeping time.[4]
    Make a Green Tea Toner Step 3 Version 4.jpg
    • If needed, you may steep the tea for up to 10 minutes. Since you won't be drinking it, you don't have to worry about it becoming bitter.
  4. Transfer the tea to an air-tight container that can hold . If you are using loose green tea leaves, pour the tea through a strainer or coffee filter directly into an air-tight container. If you used a teabag, grasp the string and pull out the teabag. Then, pour the liquid into your container.[5]

    • If you plan to add other ingredients, use an airtight container than can hold or more.
    • You may also use a small, clean spray bottle to store the green tea toner.

[Edit]Adding Optional Ingredients

  1. Add of lemon juice for skin-brightening benefits. Purchase a fresh lemon in a grocery store, cut it in half, and squeeze the juice from it for fresh-squeeze lemon juice. You can also find containers of preserved lemon juice in small plastic bottles in the produce section of many grocery stores, but fresh lemon juice is best. Measure out the lemon juice and add it directly to the container with your green tea. Then, place the lid or cap on the container and shake well to combine the ingredients.[6]

    • Lemon juice helps to brighten your skin tone, so this may be a good option if your skin has been looking dull or if you have age spots.
  2. Pour in of apple cider vinegar for pH balancing effects. You can purchase apple cider vinegar in a grocery store or online. Stir the apple cider vinegar in with the green tea, and then replace the lid on the container.[7]

    • Use regular or raw apple cider vinegar if you prefer.
    • Apple cider vinegar will help to balance the pH of your skin and gently exfoliate it as well.
  3. Stir in of honey for anti-aging benefits. Make sure to add the honey while the tea is still warm or it may not blend well. You can use regular honey or a special honey, such as manuka honey, for extra anti-aging benefits. Keep stirring until the honey is completely dissolved in the green tea.[8]

  4. Mix in of witch hazel for a stronger astringent. Pour the witch hazel into the jar or spray bottle, replace the cap, and shake the container to combine the ingredients. Witch hazel helps to cleanse your pores and balance the pH of your skin. It also has anti-inflammatory properties, so it may help to reduce any redness or puffiness in your face.[9]

    Make a Green Tea Toner Step 8 Version 4.jpg
    • You can purchase witch hazel in the first aid section of most drug and grocery stores.
    • Keep in mind that some types of witch hazel contain alcohol, which can dry out your skin. Check the labels on any witch hazel you purchase to ensure that it's alcohol-free.
  5. Add 3-5 drops of vitamin E oil to soothe irritated skin. You can purchase vitamin E oil or vitamin E filled capsules in the supplements section of a grocery store. Add the drops or break open a capsule and add it to the container or spray bottle. Replace the lid and shake well before using.[10]

    • This will add moisturizing properties to the toner, so it's a good option if your skin is dry or sensitive.
  6. Include up to 30 drops of tea tree oil for a natural acne treatment. You can purchase tea tree oil in the beauty supply section of many grocery stores or online. Add the drops and then replace the lid on the jar or spray bottle. Shake well to combine the ingredients.[11]

    • Tea tree oil is a potent ingredient for acne-prone skin.
    • Don't use more than the recommended number of drops as this may irritate your skin.
  7. Mix in up to 30 drops of lavender oil for a relaxing scent. Purchase lavender essential oil in a grocery store or online. Add the desired amount of drops to the container, but don't exceed 30 drops as too much of the oil can irritate your skin. Then, replace the lid and shake well.[12]

    Make a Green Tea Toner Step 11 Version 3.jpg
    • Lavender has a calming scent, so this might be a good option to make your facial cleansing routine more relaxing.

[Edit]Using Green Tea Toner

  1. Allow the green tea to cool before using it. The tea will be very hot right after you brew it. Allow it to sit at room temperature for 1 hour to ensure that it is no longer hot. To speed up the cooling process, place the container into the refrigerator. It's safe to use once it is lukewarm or cool.
    Make a Green Tea Toner Step 12.jpg
  2. Store your toner in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks. The toner will keep longer if you keep it cold, so place the container in your refrigerator. Keeping the toner chilled will also make it feel more refreshing when you use it.[13]
    Make a Green Tea Toner Step 16.jpg
    • If you don't want to keep your toner in the refrigerator, plan to make a new batch once every 3 days.
  3. Wash your face before applying the toner. Wet your face with warm water and work a gentle cleanser around your skin with your fingertips. Then, rinse your face thoroughly and pat it dry with a clean, dry towel.
    Make a Green Tea Toner Step 13.jpg
  4. Apply your homemade green tea toner with a cotton ball or spray bottle. If you transferred the toner to a jar or other air-tight container, dip a cotton ball into it and rub the wet cotton ball across your face. Rub the green tea all over your face except for your eyelids. If you are using a spray bottle, just close your eyes and spritz your cheeks, forehead, nose, and chin with the green tea toner.[14]

    • Repeat this twice daily after washing your face.
  5. Moisturize your skin as usual after applying the green tea toner. Make sure to apply facial lotion to your skin immediately after using the toner, while your skin is still a little damp. This will help to lock in moisture and make your skin feel soft and supple.[15]

    • Keep in mind that toner is not a substitute for moisturizer, even if you added vitamin E oil to it.

[Edit]Things You'll Need

  • Mug
  • Measuring cup and spoons
  • Air-tight container or small spray bottle
  • Cotton balls
  • Funnel (optional)

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

How to Help a Friend with a Broken Heart

Posted: 20 Jan 2020 12:00 AM PST

If your friend is dealing with a breakup, the death of a loved one, or any other hard time, you probably want to do whatever you can to help. While there's nothing you can do or say to make the pain go away, you can be there for your friend and offer plenty of support. Regardless of your friend's situation, being a good friend can go a long way in helping heal a broken heart.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Being There for Your Friend

  1. Encourage grieving. Your friend needs to deal with their emotions in order to get through this tough time, so encourage them to tackle them head-on. Remind them that they will never feel better if they are in denial about what has happened or ignore how they are feeling about it.[1]
    Help a Friend with a Broken Heart Step 1 Version 2.jpg
    • Let them know it's okay to cry. Tears can help them heal!
    • If you feel like your friend is bottling their emotions up inside, explain to them that doing so can make it harder to get past the hurt.
    • The stages of grief typically include sadness, shock, remorse, withdrawal, and acceptance. Don't be too alarmed if your friend experiences all of these, or if they go away and then come back.[2]
    • Everyone grieves differently, so try not to be judgmental of your friend's process. If, however, they seem to be paralyzed by their grief and do not seem to be getting any better, consider suggesting that they see a grief counselor.[3]
    • If your friend has lost someone close to them, it may help them grieve if you help them plan a memorial of some kind.[4]
  2. Listen. Sharing their feelings will help your friend heal their broken heart, so make sure they know you are there to listen to them whenever they need you. Be a good listener and let your friend talk for as long as they want.[5]
    Help a Friend with a Broken Heart Step 2 Version 2.jpg
    • Be sure to tell your friend that you are willing to listen. They may really want to talk, but be worried about burdening you.
    • Reach out to your friend as soon as you hear about what happened and let them know you're thinking about them. You can let them know then that you are willing to listen, but don't take offense if they don't feel like talking yet.
    • Avoid giving advice unless your friend asks for it. Your friend may just feel like venting.[6]
    • If your friend doesn't want to talk, encourage them to write their thoughts down in a journal.
    • It's okay to ask questions about what happened, especially if you are close friends. Doing so will help you understand what they are going through and how you can help.[7]
  3. Be empathetic. Let your friend know that you care about their feelings and want to help them through this tough time. Instead of passing judgment, simply acknowledge their pain and tell them you are sorry that they have to experience it.
    Help a Friend with a Broken Heart Step 3 Version 2.jpg
    • Always express simple condolences by saying something like, "I'm sorry for your loss."[8]
    • If your friend is going through a breakup, don't feel like you need to say anything negative about their ex to make them feel better. Instead of saying something like, "They were a jerk and you're better off without them," just acknowledge the sense of loss your friend is feeling by saying, "It must be really hard to lose someone you cared about so much."[9]
    • It also typically does not help to try to show your friend the silver lining of their situation. Instead of saying, "Everything happens for a reason," just say, "I'm sorry about what you're going through. How can I help?"[10]
    • Don't tell your friend that whatever happened, happened for a reason. You run the risk of trivializing their pain if you say something like this.[11]
  4. Check up on your friend. Heartbreak can stick around for a long time, so don't expect your friend to be fine after a day or 2. Check in on them regularly and ask them how they are feeling. Always remind them that you are there to help and support them however they need.[12]
    Help a Friend with a Broken Heart Step 4 Version 2.jpg
    • Don't wait for them to reach out to you. They may really need you, but they may not be feeling up to making contact.[13]
    • Call your friend, text them, or leave them a note to let them know you're thinking about them. Depending on how close the 2 of you are, you may want to do this every day or every few days until they seem to be feeling a little better.
    • Call at strategic times to show your friend that you are thinking about them. For example, if a loved one has just passed away, you shouldn't call during the funeral, but it would be nice to call that evening or the next day to see how your friend is doing.
    • When you check in on your friend, be sure to remind them that you're there for them if they feel like talking.
  5. Offer to help out with small things. If your friend is so down in the dumps that they have been neglecting everyday tasks, offer to help them out. For example, bring them some groceries or visit them to help out with math homework.[14]
    Help a Friend with a Broken Heart Step 5 Version 2.jpg
    • If your friend declines your help, let them know it's an open invitation.
    • If you are close friends, consider surprising them with something unexpected, like having a pizza delivered to their house.
    • Consider inviting them over for a meal. This will help them get the nourishment they need and it will get them out of the house, which will probably be good for them.[15]
  6. Don't push it. While it's great that you want to help your friend, there's only so much you can do. You need to allow your friend to grieve in their own way and give them the time they need to get past their pain. Don't expect them to bounce back right away or try to force them to get over it.[16]
    Help a Friend with a Broken Heart Step 6 Version 2.jpg
    • Remember that during this time your friend may seem a little selfish and may not be the best friend to you. Try to be understanding and look past this. They will be back to their old selves eventually.
    • Take small steps when encouraging your friend to be active. If they aren't comfortable going to a party, ask them if they want to come over and watch a movie with you.
  7. Maintain healthy boundaries and avoid saying "yes" to every request. While it's great to help your friend, it's also important to say "no" when you are not up to helping them. Make sure that you are not giving away too much of your time and emotional energy. Some ways you can maintain healthy boundaries include:[17]
    • Identifying what your limits are, such as what you are willing to do to help and what you are not willing to do. For example, you might be willing to listen to your friend vent about their ex, but not act as a go-between to send messages to their ex or find out what their ex is up to.
    • Asserting your boundaries to your friend, such as by telling them what you will and will not do. For example, you might say, "I'm happy to listen to you any time I can, but I can't accept calls when I am at work. Let's talk after I get off work."
    • Being direct with your friend if a boundary is crossed, such as by saying, "I am willing to help in any way I can, but as I said before, I can't help you with that."
    • Staying tuned into your feelings and letting your friend know if you need a break, such as by saying, "I want to help you, but I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now. Can we talk tomorrow instead?"
  8. Practice self-care to replenish your emotional energy. You cannot pour from an empty cup, so it's important to take good care of yourself as you attempt to help your friend heal. Do things that you enjoy and that are nurturing to you to replenish your emotional stores.[18] Set aside at least 30 minutes daily to do something you enjoy and find relaxing, such as:
    • Going for a walk
    • Taking a long bath
    • Engaging in a favorite hobby, such as knitting, painting, or playing video games

[Edit]Helping Your Friend Move On

  1. Tell your friend how strong they are. Your friend might not be feeling very good about themselves right now, so it will help to remind them how incredibly strong and wonderful they are. Tell your friend everything you admire about them and let them know that these qualities are just what they need to get through this tough time.[19]
    Help a Friend with a Broken Heart Step 7.jpg
    • Consider making a list of your friend's best qualities. This may be just what they need to cheer them up.
    • Offer specific examples of why you think your friend is strong. Remind them of other difficult things they have dealt with in their life and tell them you are proud of how they handled them.
  2. Help them be independent. If your friend was used to doing everything with someone who is no longer in their life, such as an ex, they may feel like they need that person in their life in order to function. Help your friend realize that they are perfectly capable of living a satisfying life without this person by encouraging them to do things with friends and by themselves.[20]
    Help a Friend with a Broken Heart Step 8.jpg
    • This may involve helping your friend find new hobbies that won't remind them of their ex or even helping them make some new friends. If most of the people that they used to spend time with are friends with their ex, try introducing them to some new people who don't even know the ex.
    • If your friend has hobbies or activities that they used to enjoy, make sure they stick with them. This will really help them get their mind off of the breakup.[21]
  3. Be active together. Physical activities can do wonders for the spirit, so try to get your friend moving. Any kind of exercise, whether it's an organized sport or just fooling around, will do them good.[22]
    Help a Friend with a Broken Heart Step 9.jpg
    • Consider inviting them to an exercise class with you.
    • If you can't convince them to do anything too strenuous, see if they will go for a walk with you.
  4. Encourage them to seek professional help. If your friend is having an especially hard time coping with their broken heart, encourage them to talk to a therapist. A professional may be able to offer your friend the kind of support and encouragement that their loved ones simply cannot.[23]
    Help a Friend with a Broken Heart Step 10.jpg
    • This is especially important if your friend feels suicidal or has been engaging in self-destructive behavior like doing drugs or hurting themselves. Your friend needs help, so make sure they get it!
    • A support group may also be an option, depending on what kind of heartbreak your friend is dealing with. This will give them the opportunity to talk to other people who know exactly what they are going through.

[Edit]Preventing Destructive Behavior

  1. Suggest a technology timeout. If your friend is going through a breakup, they may be itching to badmouth their ex or rant about it on social media, but this really won't do them any good. Try to convince them to take some time away from social media and to keep the details of their relationship private. This will also help them avoid seeing anything that their ex and/or friends may have posted about the breakup.[24]
    Help a Friend with a Broken Heart Step 11.jpg
    • A technology timeout may be appropriate for other kinds of heartbreak as well, especially if they are being overwhelmed by people expressing their sympathy.
  2. Discourage obsessive behavior. Some activities will just make your friend's pain worse, so try to identify destructive habits that get your friend upset and discourage them from doing those things. Let them know how you feel about this and encourage them to stop the behavior.[25]
    Help a Friend with a Broken Heart Step 12.jpg
    • Make sure your friend is not harassing their ex after a breakup. If they keep calling their ex or asking everyone they know about what their ex is doing, let them know that you are concerned.
    • If your friend just lost their job, discourage them from reading (or posting) negative reviews about their former company online.
  3. Watch out for unhealthy habits. It can be easy to neglect your health when you're going through a tough time, so make sure your friend is not doing this. If you notice that they are not getting enough sleep, not eating properly, or have started drinking or taking drugs, express your concern and encourage them to make healthier choices.[26]
    Help a Friend with a Broken Heart Step 13.jpg
    • Sit your friend down for a one-on-one intervention if you notice any of this behavior. They may not even realize what they are doing to themselves.
    • If you are really concerned about your friend, talk to other people who can help you help them. This is especially important if your friend is a minor. Their parents need to know about their destructive behavior.
  4. View rebound relationships with caution. There are mixed views on whether or not it is a good idea to get into a new relationship right after a breakup. If your friend is jumping into a new relationship right after breaking up with someone else, it may be a good idea to talk to them about their reasons for wanting to find a new partner so quickly.
    Help a Friend with a Broken Heart Step 14.jpg
    • If they are trying to fill the void left by their ex by getting into a relationship with someone who they wouldn't ordinarily be interested in, the rebound relationship will probably cause them (and the person they are dating) more harm than good.[27]
    • If, on the other hand, they feel ready to get back out there and seem to have a good understanding of what they are looking for in a partner, a new relationship may be just what they need.[28]

[Edit]Tips

  • If your friend wants to talk, let them talk. Make sure that you are truly listening. Do not interrupt.
  • You might find yourself in a tough situation if your friend is going through a breakup and you are friends with the ex as well. It's important to talk with your friends about their expectations so they won't end up getting angry with you for talking to their ex in the future.

[Edit]Warnings

  • If you're afraid that your friend might be suicidal or in danger of harming themself or someone else, take it seriously. Call emergency services or contact a crisis hotline. For example, if you live in the U.S., you can text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741, or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

[Edit]Related wikiHows

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

  1. http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/02/18/10-tips-to-mend-a-broken-heart/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201210/real-stages-grief
  3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201210/real-stages-grief
  4. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201210/real-stages-grief
  5. http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/broken_heart.html
  6. http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2015/06/16/how-to-help-someone-going-through-a-tough-time/
  7. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201210/real-stages-grief
  8. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201210/real-stages-grief
  9. http://www.massgeneral.org/children/news/newsarticle.aspx?id=4358
  10. http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2015/06/16/how-to-help-someone-going-through-a-tough-time/
  11. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201210/real-stages-grief
  12. http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2015/06/16/how-to-help-someone-going-through-a-tough-time/
  13. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201210/real-stages-grief
  14. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201402/4-ways-be-good-friend-during-friends-breakup
  15. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201210/real-stages-grief
  16. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201402/4-ways-be-good-friend-during-friends-breakup
  17. https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries/
  18. https://www.nami.org/Find-Support/Family-Members-and-Caregivers/Taking-Care-of-Yourself
  19. http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/02/18/10-tips-to-mend-a-broken-heart/
  20. http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/02/18/10-tips-to-mend-a-broken-heart/
  21. http://www.massgeneral.org/children/news/newsarticle.aspx?id=4358
  22. http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/02/18/10-tips-to-mend-a-broken-heart/
  23. http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/11/28/help-on-healing-from-heartbreak/
  24. http://www.massgeneral.org/children/news/newsarticle.aspx?id=4358
  25. http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/02/18/10-tips-to-mend-a-broken-heart/
  26. http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/broken_heart.html#
  27. http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/11/28/help-on-healing-from-heartbreak/
  28. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201601/6-things-never-say-friend-dealing-breakup

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